We all have a lot of choices to make in our lives. I have a little '97 Nissan pickup truck that my brother wants me to sell back to him. I offered to lend it to him till he no longer needs it but he won't have that because he wants to take my truck and trade it in for a newer model vehicle. My truck gets great gas mileage and is one of those trucks that has a metal frame so it's a safe vehicle. My brothers girl just lost her job and it's hard on them so I was more than happy to lend him the truck because that truck is my baby so I can't let him sell it. I love my brother a lot, I do, but I can't lose my truck it's the very first vehicle I've ever had and I've had it for over a year and it's been in the family for over five years. Then on top of that I ended up breaking up with Cody because he wouldn't give me any attention and I was tired of having an xbox put before me. After we broke up I started dating my best friend and now he only tells me I'm beautiful when I ask and he won't hold my hand unless I grab his first. He was in jail and I cried, I felt like half of my soul was unreachable and when he finally got out I thought I could never be separated from him so we moved in together. Well he decided that he wanted to move back to our hometown (we had moved in with a friend of mine in another town) so we did and I haven't talked to him much since then. My aunt also had $40 come up missing and the only person that could have taken it was him. I was in my cousins room with him playing call of duty and my aunt and uncles were asleep. He smoked a whole pack of my cigarettes in about 3 hours and it takes me 2 whole days to smoke a pack. He swears that he didn't take the money but people do have the capability of lying. Cody showed up to hang out with Del and since Del has been gone for over 2 months I was spending time with also (and I live with him remember Del is my cousin). Cody started to hold me and hug me and kissing my forehead and stuff then he wanted an actual kiss. He kept telling me that he missed me and missed being with me and holding me like he was. I finally relented against my better judgement and gave him a small kiss halfway on the cheek and half on the lips and right after that he did a complete 360 and told me we should only be friends because he couldn't handle the drama of being with me. Every time we get together someone wants us to break up (the last time we were dating my ex that wants me to commit suicide wanted us to break up because well he wants me miserable and wants me to commit suicide). Then my other ex started telling me that he loved me and missed me and wants to be with me again (we broke up because we had lost contact). I told him I would have to think about it because I do have a boyfriend and I am trying to be happy again. This other ex (his name is Will) understands that and has actually been helping me with my problems with my boyfriend because my boyfriend has changed. Before my boyfriend and I got together he told me that he loved to cuddle and do all the stupid cheesy romantic crap that I love to do and so far he won't even really look at me unless I have something that will help him to his benefit. Will has offered some advice but my mind is telling me that it won't last much longer in this relationship anyways. Then on top of all this while I was pregnant with my second child (River) I was with another guy and I found out I was going to have a miscarriage (the second one I've had) and he went out and cheated while I was laying in the hospital bleeding my barely formed baby out of my body. Well the girl he cheated on me with ended up getting pregnant so he left me for her and at the time I had no idea that the baby was his so I figured he had only been with me because of my baby. My baby wasn't his but he wanted to be a dad so much that I was going to let him claim it because my baby had no dad, well in my eyes my baby had no dad because River was conceived by rape. Anyways I figured I lost my kid so he picks some other pregnant girl to claim her baby when I lose mine and he got back in touch with me the other day and let me know that the kid was actually his that he had got her pregnant. Now on Snapchat he asked me if he have sex with me and him and the girl he cheated on me with have gotten married. I told him I'm not a home wrecker and couldn't hurt the baby that way. Besides I wasn't born yesterday why would I go back to him after all of that. I'm just stuck in a bind and I don't know what to do about anything or anyone right now. Oh and I've also been put in the middle of my dad's second divorce, I am the messenger between him and wife number 2. I ended up going swimming today to try to clear my head and that did not work one bit.
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